


Closer To Me

by Yourfriendlyneighborhoodficwriter



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: First Kiss, I suck at tagging lol sorry, M/M, Short soft fluffy piece?, pre-competition nerves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 20:41:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17128382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yourfriendlyneighborhoodficwriter/pseuds/Yourfriendlyneighborhoodficwriter
Summary: Just a little something I wrote quickly because I just miss them so much.This could have many mistakes because I wrote it quickly and it's not beta'd.Hope you enjoy :)





	Closer To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I wrote quickly because I just miss them so much.  
> This could have many mistakes because I wrote it quickly and it's not beta'd.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

A knock on the door interrupts Shoma's game, it's not online at least, he takes a second to think, those can't be paused. That's another small thing he's thankful about when it comes to competing abroad, it's hard to resist the temptation to play his beloved games, he can't do that outside of Japan, so he focuses more on competition.  
Yuzuru is standing behind the door, cellphone and cardkey in hand, looking like he was not expecting his knocks to be answered.  
"Yuzuru?"  
He says and clears his throat, he probably hasn't said a word all afternoon, Yuzuru is quiet, uncharacteristically, and for some reason it feels off to Shoma.  
"Come in."  
And so Yuzuru walks in, still only a faint, weak smile on his face, and Shoma waits. He wants to ask but he's afraid, he's used to dealing with hyper Yuzuru, with excited and nervous and blabbering Yuzuru, but not with suspiciously calm Yuzuru, and Shoma's mind is too tired to tiptoe around such unfamiliar territory.  
"I can't sleep."  
Yuzuru finally says after he sits on the edge of the bed, and Shoma wonders if he's bothered by how messy it is, but he should be used to Shoma's… living habits by now.  
"Are you nervous?"  
"I'm not as calm headed before a competition as you are."  
A moment passes before Shoma can even say anything.  
"Do you want me to make you anything?"  
"Yes. Can we chat for a little while? Until I'm less nervous?"  
Shoma didn't really mean it that way, but he knows Yuzuru understood, the answer was purposeful. He also knows about Yuzuru's crazy strict diet before a competition, so he doesn't want to make it his responsibility if Yuzuru wakes up with stomach ache. He slowly climbs up the bed and sits crossed legged, he takes a few seconds to think up exactly how to phrase what he wants to say.  
"I think… an edge of nervousness is good, gets you motivated to do your best."  
"Yeah but…" Yuzuru's eyes are still locked on his hands, fidgeting in his lap. "My short sucked… I barely made it in the last group for the free."   
Shoma resists the urge to say "Your short didn't suck, you idiot" and instead decides to go for a more reasonable, calmer reply, one he's heard many times from his coaches and his fans.  
"This is why there are two programs to determine the winner in each competition right?"  
Yuzuru smiles, still looking down at his lap, a smile that says he knows this, he's also heard it many times. And Shoma is trying, but he has no experience at this, he's not used to calming people because he's not used to someone calming him, at worst worst times, he turns to Mihoko, or rather, Mihoko knows what to do without him needing to ask. But what Yuzuru needs from Shoma is different from what Shoma needs from Mihoko. And Yuzuru has never come to Shoma before, even in Boston, when they were both miserable, Yuzuru came over and they both played games until their anger was replaced with sleepiness. But he never came to… talk away his nerves or frustration.

"If I can't win… I would be happy if you or Javi won… honestly."  
Shoma takes time to answer, and so Yuzuru finally looks up to face him, he still has a smile on his face, a pained kind of smile, and it hurts Shoma to see it, this is not the Yuzuru he's used to, but he obviously can't tell him that, because Yuzuru didn't come to him to be faced with even more expectations, to be strong and perfect, but to Shoma, he actually is …strong and perfect, not in the 'expecting him to always win and be the most fierce competitor' kind of way, but… just everything he actually naturally is.  
"The sentiment is appreciated… but also, unnecessary. You're going to win this, Yuzu. I know you're going to win this."  
Only now does Yuzuru turn to fully face Shoma.  
"How can you tell me that when it's your job to go out there and beat me?"  
"I don't mind being second to you…" It comes out almost too quickly from Shoma, and it's almost a surprise, to the both of them. "I really don't… sometimes I think it's my job to go out there and beat everyone else so I can be second to you, for now at least"  
Yuzuru's surprised smile turns into a smirk, he might as well shift the course of this before he has to give Shoma a really harsh talk about how to believe in himself.  
"Just so you can link arms with me?"  
He might be enjoying this more than he thought, Shoma's reaction amuses him even though he replies without a hint of a laugh or sarcasm in his voice.  
"I have a tradition to keep. I can't not be on the podium with you… and you can't not win. I'm sorry, those are our marriage rules."  
Yuzuru finally lets out a full chuckle and smacks Shoma's thigh, as if he didn't already have enough reasons to win. He sits crossed legged facing Shoma.  
"You know, this makes me think… we haven't really shared that many podiums together."  
It's kind of a sad remark, but it's also full of hope, or that's how Shoma sees it, or maybe a challenge.  
"We have our whole future to share more and more."  
He says it with a cheeky, full teeth-showing grin, and Yuzuru's smile turns to something more…soft, and Shoma stops worrying so much about how to make him feel at ease, the conversation somehow took a more comfortable turn, and it's always better to talk to someone facing you rather than looking at his feet. Yuzuru reaches his hand to gently touch Shoma's thigh, a sign of gratitude to accompany his "Thank you, Shoma", and Shoma turns his gaze to Yuzuru's hand before he can process that he probably shouldn't look, and then he quickly looks up at Yuzuru, also before he can process that he also probably shouldn't look, and Yuzuru withdraws but keeps eye contact, intentionally of course, as if immediate eye contact with Yuzuru did any less to Shoma than casual brushing of Yuzuru's hand on his thigh.  
"I'm sorry."  
"It's ok, I don't mind."  
Shoma hopes he didn't reply too quickly, but if he were to be completely honest, he didn't just 'not mind', he enjoyed it, with a slight sense of guilt for enjoying it. He thinks a lot, maybe too much, about every physical contact Yuzuru offers, and it's Yuzuru who always offers them, Shoma is still too hesitant to initiate contact. But Yuzuru is a touchy person, and maybe he's like that with everybody. Well, he is like that with everybody, but something tells Shoma it's different with him, that it's not just Yuzuru being touchy like he is with everybody, that every touch is meant and planned, but maybe that's just wishful thinking. And so Shoma's smile when he said he doesn't mind was supposed to convey that, but that's a lot to convey in a simple smile. He wishes he was brave enough to ask, or to confess, or to touch. But he was never a touchy person, or an outwardly emotional person, and he wasn't particularly brave enough to demand or ask or confess. And it didn't help that the person on the receiving end is the biggest star of their sport, and also his rival and also his teammate, and also… a man.  
Why can't things just be easy?  
"Shoma" Yuzuru's quietly spoken word fishes Shoma out of thoughts. And on his face is something different from gratitude, more.  
"It's always easy with you"  
And there's something about this sentence, perfectly aligned to completely dispute Shoma's entire train of thought. And the joyful thrill of knowing Yuzu turned to him when he needed, and said these words to him, and touched him, mixed with the edge of pre-competition nerves, made Shoma think, that if he can't be greedy enough for first place just now, he can be greedy enough for this.  
And so he leans closer, barely catching Yuzuru slide his eyes shut before he closes his own. And he lets his lips touch Yuzuru's, so lightly he doubts it's even there. He feels the air freeze in his chest, and the air around them still, and for a second, panic takes over, so he moves back, to Yuzuru's confused, still half-closed eyes.  
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry. I know you have a lot on your mind and I shouldn't add to it… but- but you made me do it… you made me love you-"  
He realizes just how absurd this must sound like, and he can see himself start to ramble like he sometimes does when he's feeling nervous or guilty, but he is silenced by Yuzuru's lips locking with his, gently, at first, and then he exhales and kisses him back more deeply. And this time, there's no room for panic or confusion, he accepts it, lets himself enjoy it, the sweet taste of Yuzuru's lips and the sweet sound of the quiet sighs he lets out into his mouth. And he realizes how much he had wanted this, how much he had craved it and waited for it, and it's even better than he had fantasized it would be. It fits right into place, with Yuzuru's hands cupping his face and his own around Yuzuru's waist. And he can go on forever, forget about a competition or about time and space and just melt under Yuzuru's touch. But he forces himself to move back yet again, drunk with pure joy and the heavenly taste of Yuzuru's lips. And barely a few inches away, where he could still feel Yuzuru's breath on his cheeks, he can barely hear him say.  
"So, you love me?"

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler: A 1-2 finish and a wedding pose and a whole lot of happiness come the next day.


End file.
